On Hold…Never Again.

On Hold…Never Again.

4 min read
By Randy Ksar, Social Strategist, Uniphore

Being on hold is just a horrible experience. You call the customer service number for a quick answer and then get a recording that says,

“Your call is important to us. All agents are helping other customers. Your call will be answered in 2 hours.”

AArrrrr…2 hours…That is a true story.

The Future of Customer Service

Customer service organizations need to reinvent themselves and create the best possible customer experience. In a 2020 survey by Uniphore, nearly 80% of people polled want to speak with an agent instead of a chatbot.  Customer expectations are higher than ever, and the challenge is up for businesses around the world to leverage the right technology for their contact center.

This Halloween, I enlisted a few of my CX Accelerator friends to read a short movie script I wrote called “On Hold…Never Again.” It is the story of Susan and Bill who are stuck at home on a dark, cold, windy night. Susan needs to fix her internet issues before her class starts the next morning, but she is on hold with customer service with a wait time of 2 hours. The scariness (and fun) ensues.

The Premiere of “On Hold…Never Again.”



On Hold…Never again…

It was a dark, cold, scary night with the wind whistling and the full moon shining,

Susan was by the phone, trying to talk to her internet service provider. She had Walking Dead Season 1 on. The scene where they took over the jail and the Zombies were trying to break-in.

Speakerphone: “The next available agent will be ready in 2 hours.”

Susan was having issues with her Internet, and she just needed it fixed before tomorrow’s distance learning classes.

Her students relied on her, and no stable connection meant her students wouldn’t see or hear her.

[thunder lightning]

She was home with her husband on this stormy night. This was the only time she could call.

She had called numerous times but was on hold every time. Maybe this was the time she was going to get lucky.

Speakerphone: “Your call is important to us. Our agents are assisting other customers. The next available agent will be ready in 2 hours.”

Susan: “Com’on!”

[thunder lightning]

The wind was getting stronger outside and the rain was coming down harder.

Susan decided to sit on the couch and wait while on hold.

“aaaarrrrrr…..” The Zombies were getting closer….

Her husband Bill had just gone outside to take out the garbage.

Susan heard a door creak.

Susan: “Bill, is that you?”

Speakerphone: “the next available agent will be ready in 2 hours.”

Susan: “Uggg…this is so annoying!”

Susan heard a loud noise come from the kitchen. It sounded like a glass breaking.

Susan: “Bill, you ok?”

No answer.

Susan decided to explore and find out what was going on.

Since it wasn’t Bill, she thought, what could it be?

She was positive that she put the two cats in their room.

[thunder lightning]

She tip-toed over to the kitchen.  She could hear a howling sound from the upstairs window. It must have opened during the storm.

A few more steps, she would be there. She could see the broken glass on the ground.

[thunder lightning]

Suddenly the cat jumped out in front of her, hissing really loud. It had taken the left-overs from the sink, went to the corner of the kitchen and started chewing it.

“Jimmy! You scared the living daylights out of me.”

Speakerphone: “Your call is important to us. Our agents are assisting other customers. The next available agent will be ready in 2 hours.”

Susan was frustrated at Jimmy and she was still waiting on hold for the customer service agent to pick-up.

She picked up the food, put it in the garbage and the plate in the dishwasher.

She decided to put Jimmy in her room so she could clean the broken glass.

She returned back to the kitchen and all of a sudden, the power went out.

[thunder lightning]

She couldn’t see anything and wasn’t sure where she put the candles or flashlights.

Luckily, she could use your light on her phone. She looked at her phone and noticed she was still on hold.

All of a sudden, a hand touched her shoulder from behind and she screamed at the top of her lungs.

Susan: “AAAAAAhhhhhh”

It was Bill who was soaking wet.

Susan: “You scared the living daylights out of me, Bill! What took so long?”

Bill: “I was putting out the garbage and the power went out. It’s really stormy out there. I need to call PG&E.”

Susan: “Aight..I’m still on hold with our ISP and haven’t figured out the Internet issue. So once they take me off hold, I hopefully can get the Internet fixed for tomorrow’s classes.”

Bill: “Ok. I’ll call the energy company now and hopefully won’t be put on hold.”

Susan: Let’s make sure next time we sign-up with a company that they don’t put us on hold and have a good customer experience because tonight’s storm + customer service nightmares are just too much.

Bill called and within 15 seconds was on hold, again.

“On hold…never again.”



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